I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Dick very happy bro
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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