she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
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