We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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