yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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