the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
