dude i'm inner monologue high
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
