I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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