We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
