I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
