She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
