Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize