I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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