One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Use "feeling words"
Yay
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
