Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
