I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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