I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
