you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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