Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
