The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
