I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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