You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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