so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Randomize