WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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