i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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