Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
