I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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