i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Randomize
