I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Randomize