Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
