I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Randomize
