he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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