Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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