I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize