So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
