i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
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