how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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