Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
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