I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
