why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize