im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize