Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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