I met the friendliest cop last night
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize