I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
