I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
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