I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
