You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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