i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize