Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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