please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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