You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
