It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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