I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
