I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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