It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
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