I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Randomize