Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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