She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
