I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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