So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
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