just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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