the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
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