I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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