Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
