very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize