Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Randomize
